Kamilla Baar: "The mirror does not reflect the truth about us"

PAP Life: When I called you a while ago to ask for an interview, you said it wasn't a good time because you were preparing for a premiere at the Polonia Theatre. Was it an exceptionally challenging role, or do you simply put everything else on hold when you're working so hard?

Kamilla Baar: When I'm working on a role, I live and breathe it in the final stretch. I immerse myself in the character and the tasks. My loved ones are used to this and support me. The role of Suzi in "Extasy Show" at Polonia required me to do things I'd never done on stage before. And it was fascinating. I play a showwoman, I sing, I dance, and I have to be in constant contact with the audience. And all of this in a very subversive way, because the play is about deciding someone's life or death.

Can you imagine actually hosting a TV show? Lots of actors do it.

Putting on a "show" is—as Americans say—"entertainment," and "entertainment" isn't the "art" my heart belongs to. In real life, I could never even imitate Suzi. And in "Extasy Show," directed by Tomasz Man, it's "art" about how entertainment will work in the future. The role of Suzi demanded a lot of creativity, and I'm proud of it. I worked on it not only with the director, but also with a makeup artist, a costume designer, and an outstanding tailor.

"Ecstasy Show" was written by an Austrian neurologist who has worked with older people for many years. The play looks into the future; four elderly people must undergo a test in front of the audience that will decide their fate. The text has many layers, and for me it also deals with the fear of old age, which many people consider unattractive, even shameful.

I've always felt close to older people; I sought their company, enjoyed talking with them, and drew on their experience. For me, older people are authorities, experts on life. It's good to be aware that life is divided into different stages. Ignoring old age, hiding it, is frivolous, even foolish. Old age has been, is, and will be, and it's better to come to terms with it, to make life more fulfilling. I'm an optimist and always think only about what I can do best today. And old age? I want to be a grandmother who rides bikes with her grandchildren, swims in the lake in winter, enjoys skiing, and plays tennis.

Kamila Baar: "Wrinkles are a beautiful map of life"

I understand that you look in the mirror and don't notice new wrinkles?

I don't spend much time in front of the so-called mirror. I know it doesn't reflect the truth about us. We only see clearly with the heart. What's essential is invisible to the eye—that's one of my favorite lines in literature. I track these inner wrinkles or these inner smiles throughout the day, when I'm with people, working, exercising, reading, relaxing. Then I feel from the inside how I look. What we see in the mirror depends largely on our attitude toward ourselves. The mirror encourages us to put on a mask. And wrinkles are a beautiful map of life. This is my story.

You said you don't think about what will happen in a few or a dozen years. But aren't you terrified by the development of artificial intelligence? Some people start their day by talking to an AI, which replaces their friends or a psychotherapist.

It saddens me more than it terrifies me. If someone wakes up in the morning and doesn't even feel the need to talk to themselves, just reaches for their phone and texts with AI, that's profoundly sad. It's worth realizing that we have a choice every day. Do we want to be controlled by AI or make our own decisions? It worries me that children today are growing up with phones almost from birth. Entire generations are growing up with AI telling them how to live, what to eat, how to work, how to look, where to travel. This kind of unification is something that goes against human nature, which has always strived for individualization and independence. This is what fueled us, and now AI is lulling us into sleep.

But AI is convenient. In just a few moments, it will answer any question, dispel any doubts, and offer suggestions.

I'm not obsessed with finding immediate answers to every question. Sometimes you need to wait, consult, learn more. I'd even go so far as to say "I don't know" rather than "I know." I'm not opposed to creators using AI; it's natural for them to reach for new tools available to them. But when we're talking about everyday functioning, it's worth considering where the limits are.

Juliusz Machulski's "Vinci 2" recently premiered. Twenty years after the first installment, in which you debuted, you reunited on the set with Robert Więckiewicz, Borys Szyc, Marcin Dorociński, and Łukasz Simlat. Was it a moving reunion?

Yes, it was a wonderful gift from life. But I think I was most moved by meeting Julek and Ewa (Ewa Machulska, Juliusz Machulski's wife and costume designer). Borys and I recently made the series "Forst," in which I played a prosecutor. He invited me to the project because he was its co-producer. I also had contact with Robert and Łukasz. However, I haven't seen much of Ewa and Julek over the years, and I like and respect them immensely. They are a role model for me; they both have an incredible sense of humor and a wonderful aesthetic sense. Julek often uses a phrase I've adopted because I really like it: "It's wonderful to feel like you've found people with the same DNA as us." When we saw each other on set after twenty years, it turned out we were just like we were before. The same DNA. It was also especially nice that my son in the film was played by Teoś, Julek and Ewa's grandson, and the son of Marysia Machulska, a distinguished cartoonist.

Kamila Baar on family acting

Can you imagine playing with your own son?

I can imagine a lot. My imagination is virtually limitless.

Bruno recently played a major role in Piotr Domalewski's film "The Altar Boys." The film won the Golden Lion at the recent Gdynia Film Festival.

Bruno has had an extraordinary adventure, and I congratulate him wholeheartedly. I'm thrilled with the awards for "Altar Boys," as it's a brilliant film. It will premiere in cinemas soon, and I encourage everyone to see it. I will always support my son, whether he's struggling with his life ambitions or his Polish language essay.

Did you give him career advice?

I was giving more motherly advice.

I asked you about this because apparently you dream of teaching at a drama school.

It's true. I have enormous respect for the teaching profession. I owe a great deal to my teachers. I also come from a family of teachers, as both my mother and grandmother were teachers. My mother still teaches, my grandmother is no longer alive, but she taught Polish at a school in Wągrowiec her entire life. Imagine, last year, when I was returning by train from Berlin, a ticket inspector approached me and asked, "Tickets, please." I handed him the tickets, he looked at me intently, and suddenly asked, "Excuse me, are you Mrs. Maria Baar's granddaughter?" I replied, "Yes, my grandmother is no longer alive, but I am her granddaughter." And then he said, "Ms. Kamila, I owe my entire life to your grandmother. She taught me Polish, always believed in me, helped me prepare for my final exams, and thanks to her, I graduated with a degree in history from the Catholic University of Lublin. I'm a teacher, now I work part-time as a ticket inspector." Similar situations have happened to me many times. But getting back to your question, I'd really like to try teaching someday, because I feel like I have the heart for it. I care about the well-being of young people, and I'd like to see the best actors in Poland.

You recently wrote on your Instagram: "I love my job."

Because it's true. I love transformations, and I think that's only possible in acting. In "Sex for Dummies" at the Mały Theatre in Tychy, I play an overweight woman struggling with self-acceptance, which causes a crisis in her relationship. In "Couples Therapy"—the first show I've toured Poland with—I play a real lawyer. In the aforementioned "Extasy Show," I'm an eternally youthful showwoman, and again in "Mother and Child" at the Warsaw Theatre in Warsaw, I'm a narcissistic mother of an adult son. These are fantastic characters, and for me as an actress, a challenge and a joy. In the last year, I've received so much proof that audiences appreciate what I offer them, and I'm grateful for that. I consider my profession one of the most beautiful in the world. I love artists, and without art, not just acting, but painting, sculpture, or music, I simply can't function. Everything that is about form, expression, and creation is very close to me.

Do you regret not working in your profession for several years?

This way of thinking isn't in my nature at all. I haven't worked for a while, but I've found fulfillment in other areas of my life and gained new experiences. I believe I'm a better actress today because of it. Recently, Dawid Ogrodnik and I produced a radio play called "Miłości" (Love), based on a text by Tomasz Man and directed by him. It's a 40-minute monologue by an abandoned woman about loss and the meaning of experiencing love. It was a profound experience for me, alone with my partner and with a microphone. I search for revelations, magic, beauty, and truth in life. And this profession offers incredible opportunities to experience them. It makes me happy.

You recently turned 46. A birthday is a time that inspires various reflections.

On the one hand, it seems like a lot; I already know I'm in the second half of my life. On the other, I feel like my mind is much more receptive, curious, childlike, wild, but also more collected than ever before. I try to maintain perspective, be relaxed, and give thanks for what I have every day. I think this is the key to happiness. Before, I compared myself to others, demanding more of myself because I wanted to meet others' expectations. Now, I'm kind and open to myself. I'm my own closest friend.

Interviewed by Iza Komendołowicz

Kamila Baar

Kamilla Baar graduated from the Theatre Academy in Warsaw in 2002. From 2005 to 2018, she was an actress at the National Theatre in Warsaw. She made her film debut in 2004 with a role in Juliusz Machulski's "Vinci." She has appeared in numerous films and television series (including "Na dobre i na złe," "Służby Specjalne," and "Uwikłani"). In 2018, she decided to take a career break and returned to acting in 2023. She has appeared in the series "Forst" and the film "Vinci 2," among others. She is the mother of 14-year-old Bruno (from her relationship with actor Wojciech Błach), who recently starred in one of the main roles in Piotr Domalewski's "Ministers." She is 46 years old.